I've talked about it in the past. I've had very little success finding it. But this week, I finally located it. This "it" I speak of, what is it? HELP! That's what it is! I think I've finally found it, and it's right here in the neighborhood, too!
This help comes in the form of a therapist. I spoke with her on the phone at length about my/our situation and not only does she think she can help me, she knows all about RAD! Unfortunately she doesn't take on kids as clients, but she has several RAD moms in her care. She even asked what therapies we're using! So far I'm thrilled with her. We have our first in person session next week. Let the healing begin.
The downside? I almost threw up just dialing her number. I am terrified, folks! I was literally shaking just leaving a message for her. While we were on the phone and I was giving her some background info, I was nanoseconds from having a panic attack. Reliving the past, and healing old wounds is an EXTREMELY horrifying concept for me. I spent the day just shy of the fetal position, and avoided my family and my parents (sorry mom) for fear of having someone notice my terror and having to talk about it. Who knew healing was so scary?! Writing this post, I'm still feeling a little sick to my stomach, but I am doing it! I will heal, I will get through this, and I will come out the other side better for it, and better for helping my kids heal. I am going to be brave! Don't be fooled, healing is truly hero work. Just ask my kids!